


Midnight Messages

by tinyclockworkprincess



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Comfort, Cute, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Girls Kissing, Happy Ending, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Mild Smut, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26049925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyclockworkprincess/pseuds/tinyclockworkprincess
Summary: The five times Helen Blackthorn texted her best friend and secret crush in the middle of the night.Whenever Helen needs comfort or advice, Aline is there. But this time she wants something more. This text could cost her everything. But it could also give her all she has ever wanted.Haline Love Story
Relationships: Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Midnight Messages

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I couldn't help myself and wrote another sweet Haline story!  
> I have so much love for them! 
> 
> Thanks to this wonderful human being for having the strong patience to beta my fic @notquiteascrazy  
> Please go check out their beautiful work <3
> 
> As a little side information: The spider part is based on a true event. I was in Helen's position and my wonderful friend was my Aline and helped me through it as well as my other sweet friend did, I gave her the part as Izzy <3
> 
> Thank you for taking your time reading my fic <3

**One**

Helen Blackthorn and Aline Penhallow had always been friends. They grew up together after Jia Penhallow and her Husband moved to LA. Jia was already friends with Helen’s mother Tessa and her husband Will. 

As soon as they met they immediately found a connection and shared love: books and video games.

Since the day they met no one was able to tear them apart, they went everywhere together and did everything together. They shared their food, their drink and their bed. Their friendship was a constant through everything life threw at them and even when Aline came out as a lesbian to Helen, she never left her side. She always loved her best friend exactly the way she was. 

They immediately trusted each other and told each other everything, every little secret they had in this world, they shared.

These things were normal things best friends do, at least that’s what Helen always told herself. was sure Aline thought the same until she eventually realised she was wrong with her thoughts. Helen realized that normal best friends didn’t feel such a deep love between them that they didn’t feel the love Helen felt for Aline, this wasn’t something usual and she knew that too well.

Helen tried to ignore it, Aline seemed to not share the same feelings for her and she was way too scared to lose the friendship they had, so she kept her mouth shut. 

Aline had left her room 9 hours ago, now Helen lay in her bed at 3 am, wide awake and with many questions in her head. 

  
  


**_First Message:_ **

**3:03 am. Helen:** So do you think Aliens exist? 

**3:03 am. Helen:** Like I mean don't you think it’s

possible that there are others? 

**3:04 am. Helen:** Also what would they look like? 

**3:06 am. Aline:** Helen. Sweetheart. 

**3:06 am. Aline:** It’s 3am, go to sleep.

**3:07 am. Helen:** Yeah but do you think they exist? 

You think they could shape shift and

look like us?!?! That would be crazy!

What if they are like us but just different? Like

different hair, different skin color like blue or purple?

AND MAYBE OUR NAMES SPELLED BACKWARDS?

Yours would be Enila, that sounds so

awesome! Neleh does sound cool too!

3:10 am. Aline: Yes that would be crazy. Now sleep

Neleh because we have a test later. 

3:15 am. Helen: Fine! Night ❤️

3:15 am. Aline: ❤️ 

  
  


In the morning when Aline picked Helen up from home, Helen had a wide smile on her face when Aline got out of the car. Aline gave her a sly grin, “Answer enough Neleh?” she said, laughing.

Aline was wearing a shirt with a tiny rainbow colored Alien sat in a rainbow colored UFO with big letters around it that said ‘I’m a Homosexualien’.

“Definitely Enila!” she gave her a small peck on the cheek and hopped in Aline’s car.

“How about a movie night tomorrow? Izzy and Simon bought a few DVDs, I’ve already asked Jace, Clary, Magnus and Alec too,” Aline said as she let herself fall back in the driver’s seat. 

“Of course!” Helen said cheerfully and made herself comfortable in the passenger seat. 

She stared at Aline.

In her eyes Aline was perfect, her hazelnut brown eyes, her strong jawline and beautiful cheekbones, her sweet nose and her beautiful raven black hair which curled itself around her ears and around her neck after she’d cut it.

Without thinking she reached out and let her hands run through Aline’s hair. “I like that you cut it short,” she smiled. 

Aline’s mouth curled into a smile, her eyes fixed on the road. “Thanks to your Mom it turned out very good! My Mom was very happy about it too, of course. She was shocked first but she definitely loves it too! I was thinking about putting some color in too,” she said thoughtfully. “Maybe blue?”.

“Blue would be nice,” Helen said. “It’s soft and would fit perfectly to you and it is my favorite color.” 

“That’s why I picked it,” Aline smiled and Helen’s cheeks turned red. 

  
  


They spend the rest of the drive joking about how Helen’s Father Will made a fool out of himself when he asked Tessa to marry him again. His plan was perfect until he fell from the balcony and broke his leg. But even then he had a perfect line to ease Tessa’s crying, 

“Seems like I broke every barrier to heaven to get to my angel once again,” he said and kissed her as Helen and her Mom had pulled him up. 

Aline was there too and recorded it all. 

*************

**Two**

Helen wasn’t the best in school and often got in trouble with teachers for not studying or not paying enough attention in class., She would get easily distracted and often just zone out. 

Aline often tried helping Helen during tests, one time she filled out the test in a messy writing and managed to give it to Helen when the teacher wasn’t looking and stole Helen’s blank one, filling it out once again. Helen couldn’t thank her enough for it as this actually saved her from repeating class.

Tessa always tried to go easy on Helen, telling her to try her best and that it’s ok if it’s not an A, as long as she tried. Helen felt bad whenever she returned with a bad grade, because it wasn’t like Helen didn’t want good grades, she tried studying but nothing would stick in her mind for long. She tried over and over again and after getting extremely frustrated and upset, she would just stop and try to handle the test as best as she could. She knew she couldn’t keep doing this.

That evening, when Aline dropped her at home after they went to see a Movie, her dad was waiting for her in the Kitchen. 

It was already late and her Mom was sleeping upstairs

“You’re home late, Helen,” he said, putting his Book down.

“I’m sorry, the Movie was longer than we expected,” she said quietly. “I forgot to text.”

“Helen, we got another letter from your Teacher, you got three F’s in your last tests. And they told me you barely pay attention. You even snap at teachers?” Will kept his voice low but Helen was able to filter out the anger behind it. “Helen, you can’t just daydream in class and be rude towards your teacher. Your math teacher even wrote that you were aggressive against your sport teacher and tried picking a fight with a boy from another class?”. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“A sorry won’t always save you, Helen. This is serious. If you keep doing this then you will be expelled. How does that look for your future?” 

Helen stayed quiet, she fidgeted with her jacket. It was a habit of hers whenever she got nervous.

“You know I just want the best for you Helen, you’re my child,” he said with a calmer tone. “Mom always goes easy on you, I know. But she can’t keep doing this. You have to try harder and if you keep having bad grades,” he took a deep breath before he continued, “I will forbid you from seeing your friends until your grades at least get up to a C.” 

Helen’s mouth opened and closed again immediately. She couldn’t believe her father saying this. If they forbid her to see her friends, it meant she couldn’t see Aline and if she couldn’t see Aline, her life would be meaningless.

Helen didn’t say anything, her hands opened and closed rapidly, her body was trembling and she fled to her room. 

Helen threw herself into her bed and stared at the ceiling. 

Her body felt numb now, she knew tears ran down her cheeks but her arms didn’t move, she couldn’t lift them up to dry her tears. She just lay there, motionless. 

After a few hours she was still awake. She let out a loud sob, her breathing heavier and fresh tears running down her face.

She sat up and stared at the clock,4:15am.

Helen grabbed her phone. 

Her vision was blurry and she sobbed uncontrollably as she typed her message.

**_Second Message:_ **

**4:15 am. Helen:** Dad said he will forbid me seeing you

and the others if I keep getting bad

grades. I don’t want this. I’m trying. 

**4:16 am. Helen:** I really do try but it’s not enough

**4:19 am. Helen:** I’m not good enough..

**4:19 am. Helen:** I’ll never be good enough.. 

**4:20 am. Aline:** You’re more than enough Len.

I’m sorry your father said this,

are you ok? 

**4:28 am. Aline:** Helen? 

**4:29 am. Aline:** Please talk to me! Helen? 

**4:30 am. Aline:** Sweetheart? 

**4:35 am Helen:** I can’t

**4:35 am Helen:** breathe

Helen’s phone rang. She stared at the display

> **Aline💕** <. 

She picked up after Aline called her for the third time.

_ “Helen,” _ a soft voice came through the speaker.

Helen sobbed, her tears flowing down her cheeks. 

_ “Listen to my voice Helen,” _ Aline said with a soft tone.

“ _ Breathe dear, breathe with me. Inhale and exhale,”  _ she said and took a deep breath. Helen tried but failed the first time, a hiccup interrupting her breath.

_ “Just try again, together with me,” _ Aline said softly.

Helen imitated Aline’s breathing. She took a deep breath before letting it out again. They repeated it together until Aline spoke again, “ _ I’m here Helen, It’ll be ok. Focus on something in your room, tell me what you see and keep breathing.”  _

“A book,” Helen said quietly after a short moment, trying to keep her breathing steady.

“ _ What book do you see dear?”  _ Aline answered.

“The Cruel Prince,” she answered, her voice still shaking.

“ _ Okay you’re doing good sweetheart. Keep breathing, in and out. You’re doing so good. What else do you see?”  _ Aline’s voice was like a melody in Helen’s ears, a soft and lovely tone that made her heart feel warm and safe.

“Wynonna Earp DVD,” She breathed out. 

Slowly her mind focused more and more on Aline’s voice.

_ “Remember when we first watched the show? When you were so happy after Nicole Haught showed up?” _ Aline took another breath with Helen before she continued. 

_ “And the time you got so mad because you wanted Waverly and Nicole to finally kiss?”  _ Aline let out a small chuckle. 

“ _ You were so happy when they finally kissed.”  _

Helen let out a strange noise, a mixture of a small laugh and a broken sob.

“ _ The time you walked out of the room, saying ‘No I won’t accept this, no - nuh -uh.’ After Waverly and Doc got trapped in the Garden of Eden,”  _ Helen could sense Aline’s smile as she said this. 

“Can you stay?” Helen whispered, her voice was still shaking. 

_ “Always,” _ Aline said.

Aline kept talking about some wonderful moments they shared, her voice was angelic in Helen’s ears. She felt herself slowly calming down, her eyes felt heavy and sore from crying, so she closed them. She wanted to keep listening to Aline, forget everything about the world and just stay with Aline. 

Her Aline, her best friend, her anchor, her light.. 

Her Angel. 

****************

**Three**

  
  
  


A week later, Helen and her mother went to see the principal.

“Don’t worry,” Tessa said and smiled at Helen. “I’ll be there the whole time, it’s nothing bad and nothing you have to be afraid of.” 

Helen nodded. She barely spoke to her parents or her siblings, unless it was her younger brother Tavvy, he wasn’t able to completely understand her pain since he was just four years old.

“Please don’t be mad at us,” Tessa said after a moment of silence. 

They both still sat in the waiting room, just the two of them, the clock on the wall ticking horribly loud in Helen’s ears. 

“Your Father didn’t mean it like that. We would never forbid you to see Aline,” she squeezed Helen’s hand softly.

“Why did he say it then?” Helen asked.

“I think he was just worried and angry because he thought he might not have helped you enough,” her mother always spoke in a soft and gentle tone with her. It made her feel more comfortable and she knew her mother didn’t like being angry so she tried to handle everything with patience.

“It’s not his fault,” Helen mumbled.

“And also not yours,” Tessa kissed Helen’s forehead.

The Office Assistant told them to go inside the Principal's office.

An hour later, Tessa and Helen left the school building.

Helen was quiet, her body was shaking slightly and she held her mother’s hand.

Before they arrived at the car she stopped.

“I’m so sorry,” Helen stuttered. She was already crying. 

“Sweetheart,” Tessa cooed, wrapping her arms around her daughter, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Gently she cupped Helen’s face. “I know dad wasn’t fair and I talked to him already. I promise it’ll be okay, you don’t have to be afraid and we are all here for you,” she gently pressed a kiss on Helen’s nose. 

“Let’s get some ice cream and go home, we can eat it after dinner.”

Helen nodded, on their way to get ice cream she told Aline in a few short messages how the meeting with the principal went and what they recommended her and her Mother could do to help her a bit more.

Of course Aline immediately cheered her up and told her everything would be ok. She would support her no matter what. 

“I’ll be there for you Helen and don’t worry, I’ll help you study and go with you wherever you need me.” the last message read.

Helen smiled. Aline was always so kind and understanding, sometimes she asked herself what she had done to deserve such a wonderful person in her life.

  
  


——-

As Helen got home with her mother, Will was already cooking dinner for them. 

Tessa told Will and Helen’s siblings Mark, Julian, Dru, Ty, Livia and Tavvy how it went with the Principal and explained briefly what they could do for Helen’s behavior. 

Of course everyone cheered Helen up, making sure she knew that her family was there for her. 

Will stood up, putting his arms around Helen, “I’m so sorry,” he whispered and pressed a soft kiss on her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t take time to understand you and didn’t help you. I will be there for you, I promise. I love you my sweet dear,” he smiled and Helen gave him a small smile in return.

“I know Papa, love you too.” 

“Us?” Tavvy said, giving them a sad look.

Helen pulled him towards her and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “We all love each other.”

Tavvy squealed happily. 

——

Around 2:30 am Helen grabbed her phone. 

**_Third Message:_ **

**2:30 am. Helen:** What if we all are reincarnations of 

one original person? Like imagine if

we were born millions of years ago.

**2:30 am. Helen:** And now we keep being reborn but we’re

still the same Person. We

lost our memories but still have dreams 

of previous life events? 

**2:38 am. Aline:** Sweetheart.. 

**2:39 am. Aline:** Its nearly 3am

**2:45 am. Helen:** What if I was like this in my previous 

lives? A failure and not good enough.

Maybe I was someone doomed to

always reincarnate in this state.

**2:46 am. Aline:** Helen, you are more than enough!

And you are not a failure! You’re 

perfect exactly the way you are.

Just because they recommended 

you should do certain tests now,

doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.

We all love you, you’re a wonderful

and beautiful woman, you're wonderful,

kind, pure and smart that's what I

love about you. You’re good enough,

you’re more than enough.

**2:55 am. Helen:** You must’ve been a very wise person,

because you always have the

perfect words. I will do my best, for 

you and everyone else and for me.

Thank you ❤️

**3:00 am. Aline:** I’m just telling the truth! Now get

some sleep! I’ll pick you up in the morning ❤️

**3:01 am. Helen:** Ok but really what if we lived 

before? Maybe we were warriors!

Queens? Angels?

  
  


**3:02 am. Helen:** I BET WE WERE ANGELS?

**3:02 am. Helen:** MAYBE WARRIOR ANGELS?! 

**3:03 am. Helen:** Kicking demon butts? And

being absolutely badass? 

**3:05 am. Aline:** Sweetheart! Sleep! 

**3:06 am. Helen:** Ok ok! Night ❤️

  
  
  


*************

  
  


**Four**

  
  
  


Helen, Aline and their friends, Jace, Clary, Alec, Magnus and Isabelle with her boyfriend Simon spent the whole day together after School. It was a warm tuesday and they were all sprawled on the big picnic blanket that Clary had brought with her. Between them was a basket filled with sandwiches, juice boxes and chocolate bread made by Jocelyn, Clary’s mom.

“This is a perfect day for sure,” Aline said, her hands caressed through Helen’s hair, her head resting in Aline’s lap. 

“Yes! Nohing bettr thn warm we-“ 

“Don’t speak with your mouth full, remember what happened last time,” Aline scolded Helen and held a hand over Helen’s mouth, who just grinned and swallowed.

Helen loved sitting like this as Aline often played with her hair and she simply loved this small act of love.

Whenever she looked up,she saw Aline’s face, her beautiful eyes looking down, her delicious lips so well formed and beautiful in the way they moved as she talked. Helen couldn’t hear what she was saying, all she knew was that her head was spinning, her stomach felt weird and she had the urge to just reach out and touch Aline Before she could do that, Aline already let her fingers dance across Helen’s forehead, gently brushing away some blonde locks.

“Did you hear what I said Helen?” she asked, with an angelic, sweet tone.

Helen just nodded until her eyes went wide and she jumped up.

“S-spider!” she pointed at Aline, who just looked confused until Aline followed Helen’s finger and saw a tiny spider crawl along her arm.

“Oh, hey there little friend,” she cooed at the spider.

“How can you be so calm?” Isabelle asked, her face had the same horrified expression like Helen’s and Magnus joined them immediately with a slight disgusted look.

“It’s a tiny one!” Aline says as she got up.

She leaned against a tree and pushed the spider to move off her arm, which the little creature actually did in the end.

“It is more scared of us than you guys are of it.”

“I’m not scared,” Magnus said. “I just don’t want it on my clothes.”

They all stared at him.

“Ok I’m scared,” he admitted after seeing all their faces full of disbelief. 

Helen slowly sat back down, double checking Aline and the ground for any other crawling nightmares.

“They’re nightmares on eight legs!” Helen shuddered and laid down, once again resting her head in Aline’s lap. 

“Forget Nightmare on Elm Street, it’s now Nightmare on eight legs,” Helen said. She took Aline’s hands, one she placed back on her head and one she placed on her face, gently rubbing her cheek against it.

“I’ll protect you don’t worry,” Aline soothed Helen.

“My hero,” Helen kissed Aline’s hand, she saw how Aline’s cheeks started turning slightly red and she looked away.

“You two act so much like a couple,” Jace said and threw a grape at them. “Why don’t you finally date?” 

“Jace, leave them alone, that was rude,” Isabelle scolded her brother.

“I don’t mean it in a rude way!” he said, “But they would make a nice couple!”

“They’re best friends and they can be close,” Clary said. She gave Aline and Helen a soft smile.

“Exactly,” Aline said and returned the smile.

Helen’s heart stopped for a second, her mind started spinning and a pain in her chest rose up.

They were best friends, she knew that and she knew they were very close, but she also knew that the feelings she had deep inside, weren’t normal between best friends. 

As Aline agreed with Clary, it felt like Helen’s heart had shattered into a million pieces. 

She somehow knew she had to be prepared to see Aline dating someone one day, eventually spending less time with her. She would accept it because she wanted her to be happy but it still hurt her, hearing that there wasn't even a tiny bit of hope for Aline liking her more too. 

“Helen?” Aline said. She felt her fingers brushing over her cheeks. “Why are you crying?” 

Helen sat up. “Sorry I think it’s just my allergies,” she sniffed.

Aline gave her a weird look but the rest of the group just accepted her explanation.

After that they spent the rest of the day sitting in the park, laughing, eating, chatting and gossiping.

Helen was silent, trying to laugh when the others did, trying to answer properly when they spoke directly to her or when they were asking her things.

She was no longer in Aline’s lap and she felt Aline’s eyes on her, she tried to ignore it as much as she could. 

Aline will never like her the way she wanted her to.

——-

Aline drove Helen home, during the drive Helen was mostly quiet and stared out of the window, they didn’t speak until they arrived at the Blackthorns house.

Before Helen was able to leave the car, Aline grabbed her wrist, “Are you ok?” 

Helen turned around to face her, she saw the hurt and sadness in Aline’s eyes and it made her heart feel heavier. 

“Yeah of course,” she answered and gave her best friend a loving smile.

“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet the whole car ride? You know you can talk to me,” Aline said, concerned as she always was about her. 

“I’m just really tired,” Helen said slowly. “I promise, everything is ok!” she smiled. “I see you tomorrow!” She took Aline’s hand and kissed it before leaving her alone in the Car, hearing a quiet “See you,” behind her. 

She skipped dinner, went to shower and helped Tessa give Tavvy a bath.

He loved playing hide and seek before bathing, sometimes even Mark, Julian and Will had to help to find him. 

After they did that, she put him to bed and let herself fall into her own bed.

She picked up the picture of her and Aline which was standing on her nightstand. 

She had several others on her wall next to her bed, pictures of Tessa and Will’s first and second wedding, several pictures from different birthday parties, pictures of her friends hanging out, of her with Aline and several pictures of just Aline in different spots. Her favorite one was a picture of Aline sitting in her mother’s Garden, surrounded by roses and peonies. Her smile was soft, her black hair sparkled in the sun and her eyes glowed bright brown. 

The picture she held right now was a few months ago. They had made a small road trip with their friends just after Aline got her driver’s license. 

They were laying on a blanket, bodies pressed together and both smiled up at the camera.

Her fingers slowly caressed over the photograph, stroking Aline’s face.

“I wish I could be brave,” she whispered.

Her tears once again falling down her face, she pressed the picture close to her heart and closed her eyes. 

Around 1:50 am she woke up from a strange dream.

She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times, before her body froze.

“Oh no.” she gasped.

“No no no no,” she repeated, there was a small dark spot on her wall right above her head. 

She pressed her body into the mattress to put distance between herself and the spot on the wall before wiggling herself off the bed.

She quickly grabbed her phone. 

Helen crept towards the light switch and turned it on.

She let out a loud squeaking noise.

There it was, the dark spot on her wall.

A spider.

A big one.

A pure nightmare on eight legs. 

Right above her curtain and the worst part, it fell as she turned on the light. 

  
  


**_Fourth Message:_ **

**1:50 am. Helen:** THERE IS A GIANT SPIDER ON

MY WALL!!

**1:52 am. Aline:** OH GOD NO!

**1:53 am. Helen:** I CAN'T GET RID OF IT BECAUSE

IT DISAPPEARED RIGHT AFTER

I TURNED ON THE LIGHT. IT

DROPPED AND IS HIDING SOMEWHERE

IN MY CURTAIN NOW!!! 

**1:55 am. Aline:** Can you get one of your fam to

get rid of it? 

**1:55 am. Helen:** OH GOD WHAT IF IT FALLS MORE

I WON’T SLEEP!! 

**1:56 am. Helen:** I can’t, Mark has Kieran and Christina

over, Emma is with Julian. They are

all asleep.. I don’t want to wake Mom,

she’s slept badly for days. She needs good night’s

sleep! And I don’t wanna ask Dad.

**1:58 am. Helen:** I can’t sleep! WHAT IF IT FALLS ON 

ON ME?! 

**2:00 am. Aline:** NOOOOOO! You should wake Tessie!

IT'S AN EMERGENCY! 

**2:00 am. Helen:** What do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?!

**2:01 am. Aline:** Ok let’s think

**2:01 am. Helen:** I just woke up and saw something, 

jumped out of bed and turned the

lights on AND BOOM!! IT'S SO BIG!

**2:02 am. Aline:** Can you try getting it under a glass?

Or something ? 

  
  


Helen sent Aline a picture of the curtain above her bed.

**2:04 am. Helen:** It’s behind there somewhere, I can’t reach it.

**2:05 am. Aline:** Encourage it to come out!

**2:06 am. Helen:** Should I hold a Gala and 

tell the spider it won a prize?!

For the creepiest crawler or what? 

**2:08 am. Aline:** Encourage it to get on a harder surface

for squashing!

**2:09 am. Helen:** I can’t! Please help 😭

**2:10 am. Aline:** Remove your blanket and other things

and slowly shake the curtain! 

  
  


Helen pressed herself against the wall, sobbing and staring at the curtain.

Why did it have to be her room? Why couldn’t it crawl inside Mark’s room? Why hers? And why did it have to be behind the curtain!? 

  
  
  


**_Message to Izzy:_ **

**2:10 am. Helen:** There is a spider and I’m crying!! 

**2:15 am. Izzy:** NO! DEMON SPIDER!! 

**2:16 am. Helen:** I’m freaking out! I won’t sleep!

**2:17 am. Izzy:** BURN THE HOUSE DOWN! 

Got any bug spray??? 

**2:20 am. Helen:** I wish! But I can't do that! 

**2:20 am. Helen:** No nothing!!!! 

**2:21 am. Izzy:** Well Helen. It was nice knowing 

you. I will remember you!!! 

**2:24 am. Helen:** IZZZZZYYYYYY!!!! 

  
  


Helen groaned.

With all her courage, she crawled towards the bed. She grabbed her bedsheet and pulled everything off of her bed to make sure the ‘nightmare’ wouldn’t fall onto it.

**Message to Aline:**

**2:30 am. Helen:** I pulled everything of my bed

**2:31 am. Aline:** You should really get your mom!! 

IT'S AN EMERGENCY!

**2:32 am. Helen:** I caaaaaan’t!! Please help! 

**2:33 am. Aline:** Ok, maybe sleep in the living room

and leave the window open! 

**2:35 am. Helen:** No that’s uncomfortable. Aline

What should I do!!!!! 

**2:36 am. Aline:** Maybe get something long and squish?

A hard smack and done? If you don’t 

want to get your mom you gotta do

a murder! 

**2:40 am. Helen:** It’s mocking me Aline! Mocking me and

laughing at me! It knows I’m scared!! 

ALINE THE SPIDER IS MAKING FUN 

OF ME!!!!! 

  
  


Helen crawled onto her bed and slowly approached the spider, she grabbed a small but long box, thanking God she had ordered some new incense sticks. 

She was still crying but felt calmer from Aline’s support, she slowly stepped forward, trying to not fall off her bed.

Slowly, she opened the window, making sure she didn’t get too close to the spider nor the wall or the curtain to make anything move. 

“Good that I always have the curtains open..” she mumbled. 

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed as she stepped back. “But this has to be done, it’s either you or me and in this case it’s gotta be you.”

Helen took a step forward again, then back, then forward again, then immediately back again as the spider moved it’s leg. 

**2:45 am. Aline:** You got this, you’re carol danvers!

You got this, I believe in you!

If I’d live closer I’d do it for you, but

40 minutes is too much right now, so

be strong for the both of us! I believe

in you❤️

Helen stared at the screen then back at the spider. 

With all her courage she raised her arm, 

“I’m so sorry!!!” she screamed and slapped the cardboard box against the wall, praying to hit the target. 

She squeaked as she saw she failed and saw the spider hanging by a thread now.

“THIS IS BAD!” she let out a weird shriek. 

  
  


**2:55 am. Helen:** IT’S HANGING THERE NOW

WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA!! 

Helen stared. 

The spider was slowly making it’s way up on the last tiny string of it’s web.

The window was open, her eyes wandered to the window, then to the spider and then to her box.

“Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. I can do this! Aline could do this, so I can do this! I do it for Aline!” with all her strength she threw the box at the spider.

Thankfully she got it and the spider fell out of the window followed by the box.

**3:00 am. Helen:** I DID IT! I KICKED IT OUT OF THE

WINDOW WITH A BOX! 

I explain that to mom later.

**3:03 am. Aline:** I’m so proud of you! Yes!! 

Now sleep sweetheart!

Close your window and get

some sleep! 

**3:04 am. Helen:** Thank you! Thanks for staying

and encouraging me.

**3:05 am. Aline:** Always! Goodnight ❤️

  
  


Helen fell asleep pretty fast after that, she left her bedding on the floor, too tired to deal with it by that point.

The next morning, Tessa woke her up and told her to get down for breakfast. She asked Helen why there was a box in the yard and her bed things on the floor as soon as Helen sat down on the table.

Her siblings and her parents stared at her as she explained the midnight nightmare ordeal.

“Next time, wake me up sweetheart,” Tessa said and kissed her daughter’s forehead as she placed down a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her. 

“Exactly, you can always wake me up too, I will help you!” Mark said and squeezed Helen’s shoulder.

“I know, I just didn’t want to disturb you. Aline encouraged me though, but I will wake one of you next time,” Helen assured them. 

  
  


Aline was so kind and stayed up with her until she managed to get rid of the intruder without committing a murder.

Aline was there, she wished she could be there often in person but for a few months now she had barely stayed over. But it wasn’t Aline who was to blame, it was Helen. Whenever she got close to Aline her heart kept racing. 

They used to share a bed all the time, cuddling and staying close but Helen didn’t want this. Not until she was able to let go of the feelings she had for Aline, because Aline for sure would never love her back in the same way and she didn’t want to risk their friendship. But she also knew she couldn’t do this forever.

Should she tell her? Should she risk it? 

Helen let out a small sigh, certain this would eventually end badly. 

***********

**Five**

  
  
  


Summertime finally started, a few weeks of doing nothing but chilling and sleeping. 

Helen and her friends spent a day at the beach, Aline, Isabelle and Simon chilled on a giant towel in the sun, tanning themselves although Simon already looked more like a red lobster. 

Jace and Clary were on a pizza air mattress, floating gently around in the water. 

Magnus, Helen and Alec sat in the sand, working on a gigantic sandcastle. 

Helen felt Aline’s eyes on her. 

The last two weeks of school had been slightly weird. Helen had accidentally kissed Aline on the corner of her mouth as she leaned in to say goodbye one day. Normally it was a simple kiss on the cheek but this felt more intimate, they also had some small discussions here leaving a weird tension afterwards. Aline had even got mad at her when she confronted Helen about why they stopped having sleepovers and Helen could only give her lame excuses.

Helen didn’t want this.

She didn’t want to fight, she didn’t mean to hurt Aline, she wanted to tell her the truth but she couldn’t. 

After she nearly kissed her accidentally, she felt it even more. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest.

She remembered sitting in Mark’s room, her head on his chest as she cried for hours. He held her close and told her it would be ok and that he would be there for her.

He knew that Helen felt more for Aline than just friendship, she had told him everything a few years ago when she had her first breakdown over this whole mess.

Tavvy joined them later as he noticed Helen crying, her other siblings and her parents soon joining them. They all squished on Mark’s bed, talking to her and cheering her up. 

She wished she could lay in Aline’s arms. Touching her gentle skin, touching her soft hair.

Now Aline was laying on the blanket, on her stomach. The sun kissed her skin, her hair and her beautiful face as she rested her head on her hand. 

Aline’s eyes wandered up and down, she stared at her with a slight smile but also with a bit of sadness in her eyes.

“Helen?” a voice suddenly pulled Helen out of her thoughts.

“Huh? I’m sorry,” she mumbled and stared at Magnus.

“It’s fine, we’re just done but you kept patting the back of the castle and it made it crumble slightly.” 

She stared at him and then the sandcastle.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered quietly. 

“Hey, no worries!” Alec said and showed up behind her having got each of them a soda.

“It turned out amazing,” he said proudly and kissed his boyfriend, letting himself fall into the sand next to him.

“Impressive!” Aline shouted and gave them a thumbs up. 

“Are you ok?” Magnus asked Helen with a deep concern in his voice.

“You’ve been distracted for days, you’ve been distant. I’m just worried, is everything ok?” 

Helen fumbled with her soda can. “Yes, I’ve just not been sleeping well for a few weeks but that’s ok, it’ll be alright.” 

“You sure? You know we’re here for you dear,” Magnus said and Alec agreed with him.

“I know and I appreciate it a lot,” she blew them both a kiss. 

The rest of the day was quiet. Helen avoided Aline as much as she could, especially after she watched Aline flirting with a beautiful girl.

She was angry, especially with herself. She knew it wasn’t right to be angry at Aline just because she loved her. Yes she loved her best friend, more than she should and she was already being punished for it.

She couldn’t have her the way she wanted her. 

When Magnus dropped everyone off at their homes, Helen was the last one, before they arrived he pulled over to talk to her without anyone having the chance to interrupt them.

“So now we’re all alone, now tell me what’s wrong. I know it has something to do with Aline. I saw the sadness and pain written all over your face when you watched her flirting with that woman,” he gave her a quick look and Helen already knew there was no way to hide now.

“I love her,” she said, her voice breaking. “I’m so tired, Magnus. I keep crying over and over again because I love her so much and I have to keep her away so I won’t act on my feelings. I want them gone because I know she doesn’t love me as much as I love her, not the way I want her to love me.” and as soon as the last words left her mouth, she cried.

Magnus pulled her into a hug, well the sort of hug you could have in a car, and gently stroked her hair.

“I already knew that my dear,” he held her close.

“She was always on my side and I thought those feelings were normal for best friends but I was wrong,” she sobbed. “I can’t tell her, I can’t lose her. I love her, she is my anchor and without her I would be in a much worse place. She helped me through so much and I help her and - and I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose her.” 

  
  


“I know that’s hard, there are only two ways forward. Say nothing or say something,” he said.

“What would you do, bear?” she asked, she saw his smile when she called him by the nickname. Magnus and her had known each other for so long, they had been friends since kindergarten. 

He loved to call her fairy due her small pointy ears, her obsession with nature and flowers and her natural white-blonde hair and she gave him the nickname bear because he used to run around with a stuffed bear in his arms, a cap with bear ears and a backpack with a bear face. He simply loved bears, so it was the most fitting name. 

“I’d tell her,” Magnus said with a serious voice. “Because I know even if Aline does not feel the same, she would never leave your side. You don’t have to do it, my fairy, but you should eventually think about it. You’ve been through so much with her, your bond is so strong. Nothing would tear it apart. So tell her. You don’t have to do it now but maybe one day you should, because it might be better to do it now and get your heart broken if it goes bad than waiting forever and suffering even more,” he gently brushed a stray hair out of her face.

She nodded. “I think you’re right about that, yes,” she played with her shirt hem.

“Let’s go home, I’m really tired.” she mumbled.

He started the car and drove her home. “Thank you for the ride and for giving me advice. You’re the best bear,” she kissed his cheek as a goodbye and left. 

She knew she didn’t want to wait, so tonight she would tell Aline the truth. 

——- 

Helen took a long bath, her mind was racing. She didn’t know what to say or if she even should say it. Her confidence was already fading again. 

She let out a sigh, letting herself sink a bit more into the bathtub. 

Her mind drifted off, she thought about Aline in her bikini, her well formed curves, her beautiful soft skin and her eyes. She couldn’t let go of her, whenever she thought about her, she immediately thought about her eyes and her beautiful smile, it was so full of love and kindness. 

Aline was a beautiful woman, inside and out. Everything was perfect in Helen’s eyes. She loved her laugh, her stupid funny puns and bad jokes, how her eyes lit up whenever she got overly excited about a book or a game. The way she held her hand, wherever they’d go. 

Aline loved to play with her hair and with her fingers and whenever she noticed Helen was getting anxious, nervous or stressed about something, she kissed her hand, hold it and speak to her in such a gentle voice that Helen felt like she would melt away. 

“Aline..” she mumbled. 

After a while Helen left the bathtub. 

She was way too lazy to actually get dressed so she just dropped down in her bed wrapped in a towel. 

“My Aline..” she whispered and looked at the wall covered with all their pictures. 

Her eyes got heavier and she let herself fall asleep, hoping she would dream of her Aline. 

  
  


————

Unfortunately Helen didn’t dream of Aline, she got woken from her dream by a loud noise from outside her door.

She couldn’t be bothered getting up to check but, she didn’t have to as almost immediately her phone lit up

1:42 am. Mark: Sorry! Kieran and I stumbled.

Hope I didn’t wake you! If 

I did then I’ll make you breakfast

tomorrow! Love you xx ❤️

  
  


She just shook her head and smiled. 

Kieran and Mark often got home late, mostly when they spent the day with Christina. Sometimes she would even come home with them.

They all knew the three of them shared a deep and intimate pure love. 

1:43 am. Helen: I want Pancakes for breakfast

Love you too xx ❤️

  
  


She stared at the messenger list.

Right under Mark was Aline’s name. 

“Now or never..” she whispered and started typing. 

  
  


**_Fifth Message:_ **

  
  


**1:35 am. Helen:** Aline. I have to tell you something.

**1:36 am. Helen:** You will probably hate me after this,

but as much as the thought hurts 

me, I still need to tell you. 

**1:38 am. Helen:** I’m in love with you.

I’ve been in love with you for years now. I wasn’t acting 

weird around you when you flirted

with someone because I disliked you flirting,

I was jealous that I wasn’t the person

you flirted with. I was jealous when 

you dated Maya because I

wanted to be the person who was on 

your side. I want to write you poems,

I want to hold your hand and gently 

touch your hair and tell you how much

you mean to me and how much I 

adore you. I want to go on dates with

you, on road trips alone just you and 

  1. I know it was never fair of me to



be so weird around you whenever

it involved feelings, I was just scared because

I know this could cost me everything

but I want you to know that you mean

the world to me, that you’re the light

in my darkness. My world is only

spinning for you. I care for you,

so much and I can’t describe how 

much love I feel around you. I want

to be with you, to hear your bad puns

and jokes, to hold your hand and enjoy

every day together. 

I know I acted weird today but only

because I was so jealous of the girl on the beach,

I wanted to be that girl.. 

I love you Aline Penhallow, I do. With

all my heart and soul and I’m sorry

if I ruin our friendship but I want you

to know how I really feel. 

  
  
  


Helen pressed send after she reread the text what felt like at least fifty times. Her heart was racing, fresh tears falling down her face and her whole body was shaking.

She saw a minute later that Aline had read it.

Of course she had, Aline was mostly awake around this time because Helen often texted her for either a weird reason or just because she felt like it, but Aline once told her she loved it.

There wasn’t any sign that Aline was replying not even after Helen stared at the screen for five minutes.

“This is it. She hates me now,” Helen said to herself. She dropped her phone, burying her face in her pillow and crying. 

She let out all the sadness, frustration and pain that had built up inside her for so long.

She felt stupid. She wished she hadn’t sent the message but she also knew it was the right thing to do. 

Now she had to live with the consequences.

  
  


____ 

  
  


By 2:45 am Helen was still awake, she hadn’t heard her phone ring so she knew Aline hadn’t responded and she probably never would. Aline for sure wouldl ignore her forever now for ruining their friendship.

But suddenly her phone rang.

**2:47 am. Aline:** Open your window. 

**2:47 am. Aline:** The balcony one.

  
  


Helen stared at the screen, why did Aline want her to open her balcony door? 

But she got up and opened it slowly, poking her head outside, staring into nothing but darkness until a small rattling sound reached her ears.

She stepped outside, rubbing her eyes and blinked a few times before she looked down over the balcony railing.

“Aline?!” she whispered shocked.

She looked down and there she was, Aline standing there in nothing but shorts and sports bra. Her face was pale, her eyes looked tired and glossy. 

‘Has she been crying?’ Helen thought to herself.

Before she could speak again, Aline started to move.

She crawled up the big tree in front of Helen’s house. It was an old one and had been growing there when the house was built. Helen loved to climb up there and just chill, sometimes even getting a small bird as company. Or, once, a spider that made her fall out of the tree and break her left arm. 

One of the branches was thick and close enough to reach her balcony with a small jump, she herself often used it when Aline and her got home too late.

Now she stared at Aline who had just made her way up the tree, she took a few steps back on the balcony and let her eyes wander over Aline who was balancing on the branch. After a small jump, she stood there, right in front of Helen.

‘Curse you for being so sexy and athletic,’ she thought to herself.

“I - I could’ve opened the door for you..” she whispered, still staring at her in disbelief. Was she really there? Or was this just a dream? 

  
  


Aline didn’t speak. 

She shoved Helen back through the balcony door, before Helen could say anything she pressed her lips against Helen’s, who let out a surprised gasp. 

Aline’s lips felt soft and tasted like watermelon. 

Her hands gently wrapped around Helen’s hips and her hot skin pressed against Helen’s.

Helen had forgotten that she had fallen asleep wrapped in a towel, which of course had fallen down when she got up to open the balcony door.

Aline’s sun kissed body felt warm and soft against her skin, she let her hands gently run over her back, leaving small trails of desire and love behind. 

Her best friend let out a small moan. 

With eager hands she pushed Helen further inside until they both landed on her bed.

Helen looked at her with wide eyes, as she saw that big round tears falling from Aline’s eyes, landing on Helen’s cheeks.

“You’re so stupid,” Aline sobbed.

Helen stared at her.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked. “Why didn’t you tell me you liked me? That you..” her voice was trembling. “That you felt the same way I have for so many years?” she finished her sentence in a hoarse voice.

Aline was holding Helen’s hands above her head, pinning her down to the bed. 

“I - I wasn’t -“ Helen stuttered, her own tears rolling down and mixing with Aline’s.

“I was scared,” she said in a broken voice.

Aline shook her head. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, one hand gently touched her cheek and Helen did the same. She brushed the tears away with her thumb and stared in a pair of hazel eyes. The eyes she had looked into for so many years and felt nothing but love and kindness. 

“I’m sorry,” Aline repeated. Helen couldn’t answer because soft lips were pressed back against hers.

“I’m sorry I flirted with others,” she kissed her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention,” another kiss.

“I’m sorry I hurt you so many times,” another kiss. This kiss lasted longer, filled with desire, pain and love.

Helen managed to wiggle her hand free from Aline’s grip and was now cupping her face.

“Please don’t,” she said quietly, brushing Aline’s tears away. “You have nothing to apologize for Aline. You didn’t hurt me on purpose. I never told you how I felt so why would you think about my feelings when you just did what was right for you?” she said with a gentle voice. “You never did anything wrong, I promise. You don’t have to apologize at all.”

“I love you,” Aline answered. “I love you so much. When you sent me that Message, I broke down in tears and all these years of suffering, of knowing you would never love me as much as I love you, were washed away,” she smiled at Helen. 

“That’s how it feels for me now..” Helen whispered and kissed Aline gently. 

“This isn’t a dream, right? You’re really here?” Helen said as she pulled back.

“Yes I’m here,” Aline let her fingers caress over Helen’s face, her jaw, her neck and down over her chest. 

“As real as you already laying naked beneath me,” she grinned and Helen’s face turned red.

“That was definitely not planned!!” she squeaked.

Before she was able to push Aline off, she got pressed back down. 

“Stay like this,” she said, slowly getting up. 

“Please don’t leave,” Helen said quickly as Aline got up.

“Don’t worry,” Aline gave her a loving smile and stripped out of the two pieces remaining pieces of clothing on her body. 

Helen’s face turned even more red and she felt like she was about to explode as she laid back down to see Aline completely naked. Her mouth opened and closed again. She had often thought about Aline naked, but actually seeing it now was way better than she had imagined. 

“I guess you like the view?” Aline grinned and Helen nodded. 

“Me too,” Aline said and let her eyes wander over Helen’s body. 

They both got comfortable in bed together. Aline pressed herself against Helen and kissed her gently over and over again. 

She placed kisses all over her face and let her hand wander up and down Helen’s sides.

“You can’t imagine how long I waited for this,” Aline whispered against Helen’s lips.

“I wanted this too so much, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” she answered and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman.

“Please stay forever..” she said, her voice tired and her eyes halfway closed.

“I will,” Aline kissed her eyelids, resting her head on her shoulder.

They both held each other close, warm skin pressing tight against each other, smiles on both their lips.

This felt right. This was right and nothing in this world would ever tear them apart. 

Helen was happy, Aline was with her, loving her like the way she loved her for so many years.

Aline, her Aline.

Her light.

Her happiness.

Her Angel.

“I love you,” she whispered, placing her hand on Aline’s cheek..

“I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! 
> 
> Comments & Kudos appreciated <3
> 
> Find me in Twitter @thatwasuseless


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